Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
