all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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