I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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