He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
