Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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