At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I said "one day" and that day is not today
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
