so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
We are all done wearing pants today
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
