I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
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