It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
