She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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