you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
