No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
