Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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