If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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