The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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