So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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