Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Houston, we have a squirter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
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