I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
