dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
