On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
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