I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
My feet surprised me
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