I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
