I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
