there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
