you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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