So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
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