I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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