i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
