Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
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