I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
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Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
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I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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