I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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