I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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