if i can run in heels then i can drive
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
