it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
