Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
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