Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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