just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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