3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
