i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
