the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
