It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
