i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
That's intense
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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