I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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