how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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