ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
