i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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