Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Randomize
