how can u be prego again
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
