I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Randomize
