Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
