I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
