the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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