I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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