I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
my shit smells like andre
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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