Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
My ass is underappreciated
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
