i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
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