Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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