He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Just cropdusted the office
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
she told me i tasted like america
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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