Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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