the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
