Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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