Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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