listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
