I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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