Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
i think im in europe. pls send help
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
