How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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